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武当山之恋(英汉对照)▪第十六章

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Novel translation serialization

According to the October 2017 version, Hualing Publishing House, Beijing

Written by Hu Zhe

Translated in October, 2024

by William Xiong



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ROMANCE OF MT WUDANG


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Chapter 16  A belated letter of romantic love

 

When you can no longer find my figure

Whether

You will blame me for so easily banishing my missings

When you turn your back around

Silently

Silently escape from behind you

Thus vanished into this vast world

There are no more messages or prompts

 

Perhaps my love of you

Is always my deepest sigh and helplessness

Maybe your love of me

Is also your final passion and distress

And the love entangling between you and me

Just is of our love the contradiction and sadness

A gust of drifting wind from the north

Falling in love with a wild goose proud and aloof from the south

The distance between dreams and ideals is far apart

Not compatible

 

Even if love is so deep that there's no more complaining

Even when love runs deep, there will be indescribable conflicts and struggles

So, you and I are on the road to love

That's what makes it so hard and confusing

Constantly loitering on the edge of missing

Until you and I can clearly sense

The exhaustion and weariness are quietly approaching

And gradually devouring the precarious love of you and me

 

Perhaps after all the emotions have calmed down

Between you and me

It can no longer maintain that incompleteness

And can no longer watch over those years without a trace

Finally

Finally, all conflicts have drawn a full stop

 

There are no more tears in the sky

Just because I have flown by

A lifelong persistence

Is also a lifelong pain of an injury

Thoughts off and on

Are also looking forward to an eternity

Even if just a continuation of sadness

 

In case

There really must be such a day

When you can no longer find me

And then

Please take good care of yourself

Because your happiness remains my greatest wish in my life

Although between you and me is only love deep and fate thenlow

 

In his love letter to Lu Yuexia, Adu wrote:

 

Yuexia:

How are you?

Xia, dear, after you left, I dream of you every night. As soon as I think of our parting that day, without even saying a word of blessing or even farewell, I feel regretful and want to cry. You left, I stayed at the station until my classmates pulled me back. I want to turn around and walk away, but how can I let go of that feeling... ...

No one can replace your position, because of your presence, I know how to be happy, but you... ... A love and union during the trip to Beijing plunged me into a deep emotional abyss, and I can no longer conceal all my true feelings!

After that, when I was in bliss and joy, I would always be half in my dreams and half with you; And the days of heartbreak I would be half about parting, half about watching your departing figure.

I really want to accompany you, whether in high mountains or canyons with thorns overgrowing. Regardless of the unpredictable wind or thaumaturgic rain, even if we hold hands together, we no longer care; I really want to lead you on a long journey, even if the road ahead is full of bumps, or into the desert, or into the shade, as your companion, I will not let you bear the storms of the years alone!

I really want to be with you, when the wind and rain come, I am the very ordinary umbrella above your head; In the vast Gobi Desert, I am the clear spring deep in your heart; In the ice and snow, I am the pot of charcoal fire that always warms you, and in the long night, the morning star in the sky is me!

I am looking, looking at the beautiful city in the far south on the map, at the solid and heavy northern soil beneath my feet, The Yellow River and the Yangtze River. Getting to know you feels like a connection from a past life and continuing in this life. This fate quietly arrived, occupying the entire heart bit by bit, unable to hold any further entanglements. At some point in time and space, I finally enjoyed the happiness of having you!

 

I really want love to be more simple and realistic. Don't miss for thousands of miles away like this. Nostalgia is like aged wine, experiencing all the spiciness to make it fragrant and mellow, but I’m afraid I’m not a wine taster after all.

I want a cup of water, a feeling like water, always staying by my side, holding my hand, and walking through one season after another.

Attempting time and time again, I try to break free from this knot, and leave a beautiful exclamation mark on our story at the end, clicking on an endless end. Abandoning time and time again, I’ve been trapped too deep, a rational heart can never restrain the strings of emotions, and the fantastic beauty always makes people accustomed to closing their eyes in reality. So, I dare not give up and can only continue with more dedication.

This is a dream, the person who has been waiting for a long time is right beside me, the heart is right beside me, the love is everywhere, which cannot be avoided and I’m reluctant to avoided. Walking alone on a bustling street, with warm sunshine and a leaf falling on my shoulder, I know it's you reminding me of my longing, the longing that falls to the ground in the morning and dusk of deep autumn. Your South country, and my North land, everything different, in those whole and long years. Winter is here, autumn is gone, and spring is over... ...

No one tells me what the future will be like, only the missing grows as long as a season, and each season is as strong as a season.

I don't know why I only trust in you, trust in fate, and still trust in the future.

This trust that comes from you makes me brave, brave to face today and tomorrow.

I have shed tears for you, drunk for you, walked alone on streets for you time and time again, and sang sad songs for you late at night time and time again! Can't everything that I have given move you?

The smile you give me, the promise you make to me, are all just sympathy for my passion, comforting my tears!

If it weren't for Heaven, how could we have met; If it weren't for fate, how could we know each other; If it weren't for my special love, why would I have to be so sad?

Perhaps I have always been in one-sided wish, and I don't know if you love me or not. But for me, you are my everything, my total.

Walking through the vast expanse of spring, summer, autumn, and winter, searching for the whereabouts of love alone, my eyes are dim and heavy, but I have a deep affection for you!

How could you know my sadness without yet being heartbroken; How could you catch sight of my tears without yet getting drunk; You have never given as much as I have, how can you understand the pain of loving a person and the desolation of waiting for a person!

Xia, dear! Do you know? I cannot live without you in my life, without you there would be no life for me. When I am happy, I laugh and sing, unable to find myself; When I am sad, I gaze at the starry sky alone and remain silent for a long time; When I am tired, a trace of homesickness rises in my heart; When I feel lonely, your beautiful figure appears before my eyes!

A pair of sad eyes, a haggard face, messy hair, and unbearable lips! Looking at myself in the mirror, showing a faint smile! A cigarette, a glass of wine, a joke, a good dream! My life is simple and unhurried!

I want to tell you:

If in another minute, I will leave this world, then before that, all I want to do is to get close to you, face you, and tell you that I really love you!

Write to my favorite Yuexia!

Spring 2007

 

This love letter was rich in meaning and quite touching as well, but unfortunately, it shouldn't be a belated letter of romantic love!

 


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小说翻译连载

根据【北京】华龄出版社2017年10月版本

胡  哲  著

熊良銋  译



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武当山之恋(英汉对照)▪第十六章


第十六章 一封迟来恋情书

 

当你再也找不到我的身影时

是否

你会怪我将思念如此轻易的放逐

在你背转身的时候

悄悄地

悄悄地从你身后逃走

就此消失在苍茫的尘世间

再也没有任何的消息与提示

 

也许爱你

总是我最深的叹息和无奈

也许爱我

亦是你最后的激情和苦恼

而你与我之间缠着的情丝

却是我们相爱的悲哀与矛盾

一 阵 来 自 北 方 的 飘 忽 的 风

恋上了一只南方的孤傲的雁

梦与理想的距离亦是天南地北

不可契合

 

纵然是爱到深处再无怨尤

纵然情到深时必有说不清的冲突与挣扎

所以你我的相爱之路

才会是那么的艰难和困惑

不断地徘徊在思念边缘

直到你我都能清晰的感觉到

那份疲惫与乏累正在悄悄地逼近

正在逐渐的吞噬着你我岌岌可危的爱情

 

或许在所有的心情平静以后

你和我之间

就再也无法维系那一份残缺

再也无法去守望那段无痕的岁月

终于

终于让一切矛盾都划下了句号

 

天空再也没有眼泪

只因我已飞过

一生的执着

亦是一生的伤痛

断断续续的思绪

是不是也在期待着一种永恒呢

哪怕只会是悲伤的延续

 

如果

真得有那么一天

你再也找不到我时

那么

请 你 一 定 要 好 好 的 保 重 你 自 己

因为你的幸福仍是我今生****的心愿

虽然你和我之间只是情深缘浅

 

阿杜在寄给陆月霞的情书中这样写道 :

 

月霞 :

你好 !

霞 ,你走后 ,我夜夜梦的都是你 。 一想起那天的分别 ,连一 句祝福的话 ,甚至告别话都没说,我就懊悔 ,想哭 。 你走了 ,我还呆站在车站 ,直到同学去拉我回去 。 我想转身走 ,可那份情 又 如 何 割 舍 得 出 … …

没有人可以取代你的位置 ,因为有你 ,我才懂得开心 ,但你 …… 北 京 之 行 的 一 次 相 恋 与 交 合 ,让 我 坠 入 深 深 的 感 情 深 渊 中 ,我无法再隐瞒我的全部真情 !

日后 ,我在幸福快乐的时刻 ,总是一半在梦里 ,一半与你在 一 起 ;而 心 碎 的 日 子 ,一 半 在 别 离 ,一 半 是 看 你 离 去 的 背 影 。

我好想陪你 ,无论是高山峡谷 ,荆棘丛生 。 无论有莫测的

风 ,变幻的雨 ,即使我们的手挽在一起 ,就不再顾忌 ;我好想领 你远行 ,即使前方的路满是坎坷 ,或者步入荒漠 ,或者走入绿荫 ,作为你的同行人,我不会让你一个人去承受岁月的狂风 暴雨 !

我好想和你在一起 ,当风雨袭来 ,我是你头顶那把太太普  通的雨伞 ;茫茫戈壁 ,我是你内心深处那一泓清澈的甘泉 ;冰  天雪地里 ,我是时刻温暖着你的那一盆炭火 ,而在漫漫长夜 , 天际闪亮的启明星就是我 !

我在看 ,看着地图上远远南方那座美丽的城市 ,看着脚下 坚实凝重的北方厚土 ,一条黄河 ,一带长江 。 与你相知恍如前世所系,今生再续 。 这缘分悄然而来 ,一点一滴地占据整个心 迹 ,再容不下任何牵绊 。 终于在时空的某个点上 ,我享尽这有你的幸福!

 

我 很 想 爱 的 简 单 一 点 ,现 实 一 点 。 不 要 这 样 千 万 里 的 思 念 。 思 念 如 陈 年 的 酒 ,尝 尽 辛 辣 方 得 香 醇 ,却 怕 自 己 终 究 不 是 一个品酒的人 。

想要一杯水 ,一份如水的感情 ,时刻陪在身边 ,牵着我的 手 ,走过一个又一个四季。

一次次的尝试 ,退出这个心结 ,让我们的故事在未尽时划 上 美 丽 的 惊 叹 号 ,点 上 无 休 的 结 局 。 一 次 次 地 放 弃 ,陷 得 太深,理智的心总束缚不了感情的弦 ,幻想的美丽总让人习惯闭上现实的双眼 。 于是 ,不敢放弃 ,只能更用心地继续 。

这是梦 ,等了许久的人就在身边 ,那颗心就在身边 ,那爱无 所不在 ,躲不掉也舍不得躲 。 一个人走在热闹的街头 ,阳光暖暖的,一片叶子落在肩上 ,我知道那是你在提醒我的思念 ,在

深秋的晨 、昏里飘落一地的思念 。 你的南国 ,我的北疆 ,不同 的 一 切 ,在 那 整 整 长 长 的岁 月 里 。 冬 来 了 ,秋 去 了 ,春 尽 了 … …

没有人告诉我未来究竟是怎样 ,唯有思念一季长似一季 , 一季浓似一季 。

更不知为什么只是信你 ,信缘分 ,更信未来 。

这份因你而来的信任让我勇敢 ,勇敢去面对今天和明天 。

我曾为你流泪 ,为你喝醉 ,为你一次次在街头独行 ,为你一 次次在深夜伤心歌唱 ! 难道我付出的一切,都无法感动你 ?

你给我的笑容 ,你对我的承诺 ,都只是同情我的多情 ,安慰 我的眼泪 !

 

如果不是天意 ,怎么会相识 ;如果不是缘分 ,怎么会相知 ; 如果不是情有独钟 ,我何苦要如此这般伤心 ?

可能我一直都是一厢情愿 ,我也不知道你爱不爱我 。 但对 于我来说 ,你是我的一切,我的全部 。

茫 茫 中 走 过 春 夏 秋 冬 ,独 自 寻 觅 爱 的 行 踪 ,我 的 双 眼 昏 昏 沉沉 ,对你却是一往情深!

你不曾心碎 ,怎么会知道我的伤悲 ;你不曾喝醉 ,怎会看到 我的眼泪 ;你不曾像我一样的付出 ,哪里懂得爱一个人的痛苦 和等一个人的凄凉!

霞 ! 你知道吗 ? 在我的生命里不能没有你 ,没有你就没有  我 的 生 命 。 快 乐 的 时 候 我 欢 笑 歌 唱 ,找 不 到 自 我 ;悲 伤 的 时 候  我独望星空 ,许久沉默 ;疲惫的时候我的心中泛起丝丝乡愁 ; 寂寞的时候你的倩影浮现在我眼前 !

一双忧伤的眼 ,一张憔悴的脸 ,凌乱的头发 ,苦不堪言的唇 角 ! 望 着 镜 中 的 自 己 ,付 之 淡 淡 一 笑! 一 只 烟 ,一 杯 酒 ,一 个玩笑 ,一个好梦 ! 我的生活简单从容!

我想要告诉你 :

如果再过一分钟 ,我将会离开这个世界 ,那么在这之前我 只想做一件事 ,就是靠近你 ,面对你 ,告诉你 ,我真得爱你!

写给我最爱的月霞 !

2007 年 春

 

这封情书内涵丰富也很感人 ,但是很可惜 ,不该是一封迟 到的情书啊 !


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